Honesty... I don't want to go!

I need to be completely honest with you. The beginning of this semester has been the exact opposite of my expectations for the fall & it's been hard! In fact, most weeks, I dread Sunday because I know that means I'm going to have to go to campus and I just don't want to go.

First of all, it's a LOT of work to get there. I have to load everything: a sidewalk A-frame sign (weighing about 15lbs), a folding dolly to move the sign across campus, a cooler loaded with ice & 30+ bottles of water, paper plates, napkins, & other necessities for our FREE LUNCH. (Let me pause and say that I am so very grateful for my amazing friend & volunteer, Krystal, who coordinates all the food coming to campus brought by local churches, herself, or delivery - without her I do not know what I'd do.) Needless to say, it takes a lot to get there & get set up.

Secondly, no matter how much I prepare for the Question of the Day these conversations take on a life of their own and can go in ANY direction. This experience can be both exhilarating and exhausting. As a type A person, I've learned that the art of facilitating a conversation can be both frustrating (because I cannot be in total control) but also fun if I let go & enjoy the conversation. As I prepare, I plan point A & point Z, the rest I've learned I can lean into the process and trust the Holy Spirit to guide the conversation every week, When I do it's always amazing to be part of!

Third, I feel pulled in so many directions. My husband recently told me we are part of the OREO generation (caring for the top cookie: aging parents as well as the bottom cookie: young children). So life can be busy. On top of that, I've got 3 part-time jobs. I continue to raise my support as a Texas Baptist Missionary (hovering between 40-50% funded). My goal is to be on campus one day a week (Tuesdays) doing BSM & do office work Thursdays. To fill in the funding gap I'm a crossing guard and I've started a photography business: Tamara's Camera.

ALL of the above make me not want to go to campus. But then Tuesday rolls around and I go. Many days, like today, I leave on cloud 9! Energized! After preparing, dragging myself, and ALL the stuff to campus, I got into room 223. The pizza came. The students came. We ate & we discussed our Question of the Day: Is there a God? If so, how do you know? The discussion was deep, thoughtful, & honest. Again. I couldn't have planned the exact words to say or scripture to reference but the Holy Spirit was there and spoke through students & myself. My goal is that our FREE LUNCH is a safe place to have an honest conversation about God and spiritual things. We accomplished that today... in just 30 mins.

So, please continue to PRAY:

• for Tamara to be motivated and faithful to GO.
• that each Sunday Tamara would be reminded of the the Tuesday afternoon drive home from campus.
• for students to come for food - both physical and spiritual.